12: Dr. Deborah Hecker on How to Divorce-Proof Your Relationship
Join us as Dr. Deborah Hecker shares her expertise on creating a fulfilling and successful relationship. In this episode, Dr. Hecker gives relationship advice on How to Divorce-Proof Your Relationship.
About Dr. Deborah Hecker
Deborah Hecker, Ph.D. is a psychotherapist with over 35 years of private practice experience. She received her Master’s Degree from Columbia University and her Ph.D. from The Union Institute. In addition, she is certified as a psychoanalyst and has extensive training in the following areas: addictions counseling, grief counseling, collaborative practice and mediation.
Ask your partner if there is something they want to talk about or if there is something bothering them. Is there anything I can help you with or is there anything going on in your life you need to talk about? It may not necessarily be about the two of them. That would be a real reinforcer of intimacy.
Tips for Engaged Couples or Newlyweds
1 – Learn the relationship model: I, You and We.
2 – Each person individually needs to have a good understanding of themselves before they say I Do. If they don’t, their tendency will be to not have ‘mindful attentiveness’ to the relationship.
If You Could Give Only One Piece of Advice…
Have Empathy – Have the ability to get in your partner’s shoes, to be compassionate and to realize that they are a separate person. When you listen to you partner, don’t have an agenda and don’t get defensive when you have to hear things you don’t like.